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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
Wanna hear something breathtaking
Asthma
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Previous Dates
0
At any given moment, the urge to sing, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”
is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
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0
What do Romanians do when they're tired?
They Bucharest
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0
Shout out to my grandma.
That’s the only way she can hear.
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0
Did you hear about the fight in the chip shop?
Two fish got battered
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0
Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?
Cause tennis too many.
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0
Two clowns are eating a cannibal.
One says to the other, “I think we got this joke wrong.”
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0
The iPhone vs Android debate has to stop!
It's too devicive.
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0
What are a communist's favorite units of time?
Hours.
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5
People say that I am self-centred
But that's enough about them.
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0
My wife says I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid
Joke's on her, I can stop whenever I like
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0
When you go to bed you may be American
But when you wake up late for work you’re Russian!
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0
I gave all my dead batteries away today…
free of charge.
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0
Want to hear a joke about pee?
Urine for a treat
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-2
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a great time.
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1
My dad bought me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.
I couldn't find the words to thank him.
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0
Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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0
I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory
I’ll beheading there shortly
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0
Why was it called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
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0
What does Keanu Reeves use to dry his tears when Keanu Grieves?
Keanu Sleeves
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0
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
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0
My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
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0
I'm trying to get my son into books.
But no authors want to write about him.
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0
Why can't dogs play video games?
When they do, its always on paws.
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1
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines
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1
A good romance starts with a good friendship. A bad romance on the other hand starts with...
Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.
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0
I have always wondered what it would be like to use a professional telescope.
I’m thinking of looking into it.
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0
Did you hear about the football team that doesn't have a website
They can't string three Ws together.
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0
Do you know how I embrace my mistakes?
I hug my wife and children.
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13
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"Damn that was a hard drive."
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0
What did the unborn twins say when they were hungry?
Feedus
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0
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
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Joke of the Day
Wanna hear something breathtaking
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