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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
I gave a PS5 to my girlfriend..
I consoled her. She was crying.
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Previous Dates
0
What’s a cats favourite button on the tv remote?
Paws
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I was fired from the keyboard factory
I didn't put in enough shifts
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What rapper is in a toolbox?
Plies
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When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing
But it's what's inside that counts
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Dad jokes are the best and heres why
why
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2
There are three signs of old age. The first is memory loss.
I forget the other two.
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9
People told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic
But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they turned out lovely
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1
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
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0
On the anniversary of his birth, devotees of a certain yogi asked what gifts they might bring.
The yogi replied, 'I wish for no gifts, only presence."
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Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
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1
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
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0
How do you know you've been left somewhere
You're not in the right place
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0
People who think semi-colons & commas are the same,
are missing the point.
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0
What happens when a llama gets on top of you?
You get llaminated
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My dad is forbidden from buying alcohol since he started working in the coal mine
They don't sell alcohol to miners
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My son needed help with his writing homework. 'Is it further or farther?' he asked me.
It's me, father, I replied.
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Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
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I built an electric fence around my property yesterday.
My neighbor is dead against it.
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Wife: "Honey, I'm Pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad" Wife: "No you're not...."
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0
What's more amazing than a talking dog?
A spelling Bee
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2
Big shoutout to my great grandmother!
She can't hear me otherwise.
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0
I gave all my dead batteries away today…
free of charge.
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0
Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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0
My friend gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital
Her husband named the kid Carson
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0
What does Superman have in his drink?
Just ice.
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"How did you sleep last night?"
Dad: "I closed my eyes and waited."
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Why did the dentist stick some X-rays in his mouth?
Because they were tooth-pics.
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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.
But I laugh more.
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0
My daughter was playing with my computer when she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
I guess she just craves anarchy.
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Why are mints so smart?
Because mints make cents.
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I would post a joke from my watch
But that would just be second-hand information
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Joke of the Day
I gave a PS5 to my girlfriend..
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