The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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I gave a PS5 to my girlfriend..

Previous Dates

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What do you call a blind deer?

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What do you call a dead lizard?

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Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?

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My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined!

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I've developed a fear of negative numbers.

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I can cut wood by looking at it

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Unlike Fathers day,

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Husband: Help! My wife is going into labor! 911 Operator: Is this her first child?

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Did you know that Iceland...

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You can't run through a camp site.

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Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

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Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.

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A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.

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I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death

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Asked My Date To Meet Me At The Gym, But She Never Showed Up...

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I dated a girl with a lazy eye once

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American children are kind..

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"Sergeant! Sergeant! The troops are revolting!"

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Where would you find a tortoise with no legs?

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I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today.

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What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

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What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

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Albert Einstein was a genius but

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What is an epileptic's favourite appetiser?

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What do you call a lame person who has telepathy?

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If Genghis Khan,

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My wife just accused me of having zero empathy.

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Just found out that Aaaargghhh is not a real word.

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Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.....

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Before my operation, my doctor gave me the option to be knocked out with gas or a boat paddle.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter?