The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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My flat-earther friend started walking to the edge of the earth to prove that the earth is flat.

Previous Dates

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.

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What is a mummy's favorite music genre?

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My wife made me a millionaire

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I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."

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Do you know why I can’t be buried in a cemetery?

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What do you call a dog without legs?

1

A joke about herd immunity isn't funny unless..

-1

My blind friend was left by his deaf wife.

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What do you call a sketchy Italian neighbourhood?

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Why didn’t the melons get married?

1

How does the Earth keep itself clean?

6

I stole my ex girlfriend’s wheelchair

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Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

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A man standing on a riverbank yells to a woman on the other side, "Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?"

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How did the farmer mend the holes in his jeans?

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What is it called when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?

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How do ponies communicate with each other?

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What’s blue and not heavy

1

Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies

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My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick.

1

Did you hear about the Giant that threw up?

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Why can't a father teach his girl about buying bras?

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When I was born I was so surprised,

1

What superhero gets hurt the easiest?

1

You know there's no official training for garbagemen?

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What is it called when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?

1

Bro, do you want this pamphlet?

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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll a joint.

1

Mary had a little lamb.

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What do you call a short mexican?

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Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.