The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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My flat-earther friend started walking to the edge of the earth to prove that the earth is flat.

Previous Dates

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As a new language, Braille is not that difficult to learn.

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What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?

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I couldn't pay the exorcist.

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Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

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I connot belive that bacteria would just come in my body without my permision

-1

What training do you need to become a garbage collector

2

I was in a band in the 80s called Prevention.

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The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.”

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What sound does a bouncing plane make?

2

Just found out my uncle is addicted to viagra

1

What do you call a calculator that works instantly?

-1

To the guy who stole my antidepressants...

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What happened to the man who took the airline company to court after his luggage went missing?

0

Why can't you play basketball with pigs?

0

I knew I shouldn't have had the sea food.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing?

5

Do you wanna know why skeletons are so calm?

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I've been waiting all year to write this

1

How do bees get to school?

2

Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station.

0

Just so everybody's clear,

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Doctor: I'm sorry sir, but you have colon cancer...

-3

Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.

-1

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey.

0

Incorrectly is always spelled incorrectly

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Kid: There's something in my shoe?

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My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...

0

Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?

7

I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn.

3

What does Jeff Bezos do every night before bed?

0

Why did the female mushroom ask the male mushroom on a date?