The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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I don't trust these trees

Previous Dates

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My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.

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“Dad, is the Fibonacci sequence hard to understand?”

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Did you know that Iceland...

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I have been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I can't remember 80's bands.

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Why was the cow so aggressive?

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What kind of tea do hockey players drink?

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I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought...

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Why did the female mushroom ask the male mushroom on a date?

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What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

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If spaghetti made an action movie, what would it be called?

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One potato looks to another potato and says "Are you a sweet potato?"

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My wife just threw away my favourite herb.

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How do you split the ocean in half?

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What did the hockey goalie say to his teammates?

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What does Dr. Jekyll do first thing every morning?

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[Interview] “It says here on your resume that you used to be in the theatre. What made you leave?”

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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”

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How does a computer get drunk?

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Today I launched a book aimed at 9-12 year olds.

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I used to work at a calendar factory,

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Here's one...

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How does a penguin build a house?

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I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said,

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What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?

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What do you call someone who gets mad when they don't have any bread?

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I just spent $300 for a limousine and found out it doesnt come with a driver.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

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I'm going to have my spine removed

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I hate to say this.

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Just read an article about the top ten exposed electrical circuits.

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Somebody said that my father is older than dirt.