The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

0

My flat-earther friend started walking to the edge of the earth to prove that the earth is flat.

Previous Dates

2

Why did Spiderman quit his day job?

0

Why did the Mexican take some Xanax?

5

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

0

Is infinity odd or even?

1

Why did the octopus blush?

0

Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.

0

Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?

6

A man woke up after a serious accident and he said “I can’t feel my legs!!”

0

Never, ever invest in Velcro....

0

I hate people who don't use punctiation.

1

Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

0

My son said, “Dad, I have to pee very badly!”

0

Dad, did you get a haircut?

0

My wife told me I didn't know what irony is.

0

How do priests stay fit?

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My grandfather was an honorable, brave man. He had the heart of a lion,

0

How quiet should a bowling alley be?

0

What do you call a male renaissance artist with a bowl of jelly?

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My son turned 18 today so I bought him a locket and put his picture in it...

0

A doctor gave a man 6 months to live

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My friend and his girlfriend have been in a serious relationship for 5 years.

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I dated a twin once...

1

We're opening a gym called Resolutions. It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks of the year

0

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

1

Having a 12 inch nose is anatomically impossible,

0

The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...

3

I hate people who talk about me behind my back...

2

The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

0

Once I dropped a stick in my Fanta

1

My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?

0

I call my horse Mayo,