The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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I don't trust these trees

Previous Dates

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My friend bit off his tongue.

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If you're feeling under the weather, spend a night in a smokehouse.

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I call my horse Mayo,

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What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?

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Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?

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Jack: How’s it going? Beans: Pretty good

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What language do geese speak?

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What would The Jetsons be called if they were black?

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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today

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Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar?

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My 15 year old sent a text asking me to pick him up from school and added "not in your pyjamas".

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What's the difference between a dad joke and a regular joke?

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I’m so bored that I just memorized six pages of the dictionary.

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What do you call a group of butchers?

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Did you hear about the dumb guy who got fired from his job at the M&M's factory?

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Where do dead bricks go?

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I work for the world's biggest nanotechnology company.

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Why was six afraid of seven

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I don't trust those trees in our yard.

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I can stop telling dad jokes anytime I want to!

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I help my kids with calculus and algebra.

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It doesn't matter if you're beautiful or ugly because at the end of the day..

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Spring is here!

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Where do fishes work?

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What did the lawyer name his daughter?

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After a heated argument, my kid shouted “Jim Morrison was overrated”

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Which cult is the toughest?

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What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?

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Why is a minnow always the first suspect for a crime?

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I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break.

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A bossy man goes into a bar.