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My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants
Turns out she was only with me for my mussels
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For Christmas, I bought my wife new beads for her abacus.
It's the little things that count!
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What does BOAT stand for?
Bust out another thousand.
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I got into bar fight and shoved a guy into a light switch on the wall.
He looked at me and said, “OH, ITS ON NOW!”
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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