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I was going to tell the story about my broken pencil.
But there was no point!
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Yesterday I walked in on my girlfriend in bed with her personal trainer
I told her, "This isn't working out"
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I once dated a girl in ISIS
She was the bomb
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I took a poll the other day.
Turns out 100% of people get angry when their tents fall down.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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