0

I don't trust these trees

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1

Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.

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0

I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

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0

I was driving when I saw a hitch hiker, so I stopped and picked him up. He said “Woah, I can't believe you actually picked me up. What if I was a serial killer?”

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0

How does the ocean say hello?

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0

Last year I started investing in chicken stock.

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0

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

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0

What did they call the first emperor of Rome who had epilepsy?

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0

How do snowboarders introduce themselves?

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1

A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.

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0

My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...

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1

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

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0

Converting the number 51, 6 and 500 to Roman numerals doesn’t just make me mad....

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0

What do you call a funky car?

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0

What's the one thing a homeless man can't be?

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0

What jumps higher than a building?

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0

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

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0

What do thieves make their weapons from?

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-1

Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day

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0

Why was the calendar depressed?

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-3

Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.

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0

My clock broke.

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0

Why was Nala so upset with Simba?

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0

Spiders are so smart..

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0

Tell me ONE thing wrong with overstocking grocery shelves. Go on.

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0

Peter Pan is terrible boxer.

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1

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

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0

An apple, a banana, and an orange were on the high dive. Only the banana wouldn't jump. Why?

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0

How do ponies communicate with each other?

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0

Did you hear about the perfume that smells of nothing?

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0

I was accused of being a plagiarist,

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0

Just burned my Hawaiian pizza.

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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

I don't trust these trees

Previous Dates

Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.

I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I was driving when I saw a hitch hiker, so I stopped and picked him up. He said “Woah, I can't believe you actually picked me up. What if I was a serial killer?”

How does the ocean say hello?

Last year I started investing in chicken stock.

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

What did they call the first emperor of Rome who had epilepsy?

How do snowboarders introduce themselves?

A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.

My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Converting the number 51, 6 and 500 to Roman numerals doesn’t just make me mad....

What do you call a funky car?

What's the one thing a homeless man can't be?

What jumps higher than a building?

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

What do thieves make their weapons from?

Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day

Why was the calendar depressed?

Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.

My clock broke.

Why was Nala so upset with Simba?

Spiders are so smart..

Tell me ONE thing wrong with overstocking grocery shelves. Go on.

Peter Pan is terrible boxer.

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

An apple, a banana, and an orange were on the high dive. Only the banana wouldn't jump. Why?

How do ponies communicate with each other?

Did you hear about the perfume that smells of nothing?

I was accused of being a plagiarist,

Just burned my Hawaiian pizza.

Search Jokes

Joke of the Day

I don't trust these trees

Todays Joke

I don't trust these trees

Previous Dates

Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.

I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I was driving when I saw a hitch hiker, so I stopped and picked him up. He said “Woah, I can't believe you actually picked me up. What if I was a serial killer?”

How does the ocean say hello?

Last year I started investing in chicken stock.

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

What did they call the first emperor of Rome who had epilepsy?

How do snowboarders introduce themselves?

A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.

My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Converting the number 51, 6 and 500 to Roman numerals doesn’t just make me mad....

What do you call a funky car?

What's the one thing a homeless man can't be?

What jumps higher than a building?

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

What do thieves make their weapons from?

Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day

Why was the calendar depressed?

Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.

My clock broke.

Why was Nala so upset with Simba?

Spiders are so smart..

Tell me ONE thing wrong with overstocking grocery shelves. Go on.

Peter Pan is terrible boxer.

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

An apple, a banana, and an orange were on the high dive. Only the banana wouldn't jump. Why?

How do ponies communicate with each other?

Did you hear about the perfume that smells of nothing?

I was accused of being a plagiarist,

Just burned my Hawaiian pizza.

Search Jokes

Joke of the Day

I don't trust these trees

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