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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
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When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, "You missed work yesterday, didn't you?"
I said, "No, not particularly."
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I had a dream I was floating in some sort of orange liquid.
When I woke up I couldn't decide if it was really a dream or just a Fanta Sea.
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What do you call a sheep without legs?
A cloud.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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