The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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I gave a PS5 to my girlfriend..

Previous Dates

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I want my favorite team to be my pallbearers

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Just found out that Aaaargghhh is not a real word.

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I don't know why marvel hasn't tried to put ads on hulk

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If I had a dime every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be like,

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What’s red and bad for your teeth?

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Cheetahs. Cheetahs who?

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When my grandfather was ill, we rubbed lard on his back.

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Why did the static say to the other static?

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What do you call it when a dinosaur farts?

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I took the shell of my racing snail, thinking it would help him run faster.

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What do you say when Newton slows down?

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I find bone puns very

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What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

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You know what's really odd?

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There was a robbery at the Apple Store today.

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Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend

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The guy at the tuxedo store keeps hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

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Working at a mirror factory

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Two lobsters are in a tank. One turns to the other and says,

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Just so everybody's clear,

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What do you call a fairy that has not taken a bath?

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Two goldfish are in a tank, one turns and says to the other,

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Simple Math

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A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars

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The guy that invented the umbrella was gonna call it the brella.

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I don't know if my ceiling is the best ceiling,

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My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.

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The 5 signs of laziness

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Son: "Dad, what are clouds made of?"

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My middle school once had an anti-bulling activity and our teacher all told us "If you see something, say something!"