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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Two goldfish are in a tank, one turns and says to the other,
“how do you drive this thing?”
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Who does a pharaoh talk to when he's sad?
His mummy.
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I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent.
It goes without saying.
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What follows two eyes?
Captain.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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