The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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I gave a PS5 to my girlfriend..

Previous Dates

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A cop left a nice note on my windshield to let me know I'd parked my car correctly...

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I was arrested for stealing cooking utensils

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The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.

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Why didn't the dad shower before telling his joke?

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

1

Doctor: How's that kid who swallowed the half-dollar?

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The guy who stole my diary has died.

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My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Disaster. Disaster who?

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What's a drunk astronauts favourite part of a computer?

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I was going to buy a book about phobias,

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Did you hear about the guy who invented Altoids?

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Spring is here but I can't plant flowers yet...

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?

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Vodka may not be the answer,

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I don’t know why people say cancer is hard to beat

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I woke up this morning and found that someone dumped a bunch of legos on my front door step.

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I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated,

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

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Ladies, if your boyfriend asks for matador equipment for christmas...

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I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall...

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Don't trust atoms.

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How do bees get to school?

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What did the hockey goalie say to his teammates?

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You have to act quickly during a flood.

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

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I ordered a book of puns last week,

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A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.

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Fun fact: Alligators can grow up to 16 feet

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I've always wanted to be a Millionaire just like my Dad...