The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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Wanna hear something breathtaking

Previous Dates

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Where do beekeepers stay on vacation?

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What did the ocean say to the sailboat?

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What did the big bucket say to the small bucket?

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How do you split the ocean in half?

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Why are mints so smart?

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I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery

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Gold walks into a bar

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Getting my toy drone stuck in a tree hasn’t been the worst thing that happened to me today.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

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Why don’t you hear psychiatrists when they go to the bathroom?

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I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...

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I just went to get my glasses fixed and you’ll never guess who I ran into when I was there!

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I've developed a fear of negative numbers.

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Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.

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I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death

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My dad used to hit me with cameras

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My pet parrot Nico escaped yesterday and hasn't been seen since.

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My wife said I was immature.

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Tell me ONE thing wrong with overstocking grocery shelves. Go on.

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People told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic

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Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.

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How did the whale defend itself?

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I've developed a fear of negative numbers.

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What is Santa’s religion?

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Albee. Albee who?

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What did the fat girl say to the pig?

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To determine the gender of a parrot you have to stick your finger in the cage. If he bites you, he's a male...

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How does the ocean say hello?

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I was going to tell a railway joke..

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Who is a dog's favorite comedian?

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I'll never forget the last thing that Grandpa said before he kicked the bucket: