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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
Riceless
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Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth;
It's pasteurized before you even see it.
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“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
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What do Kermit the Frog, John the Baptist and Vlad the Impaler have in common?
Same Middle Name
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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