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While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused...
I guess it was the delivery!
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I had a silver dollar, but then my dog got a hold of it.
Now I have a bitcoin.
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My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
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I saw an ad for burial plots and thought to myslef,
This is the last thing I need.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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