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When my wife was still pregnant I used to say
that our baby was in his one womb apartment.
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What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
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My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
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If I ever go to Prison, I'm gonna change my name to Mitochondria
I want everyone to know I'm the powerhouse of the cell.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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