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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I saw an ad for burial plots and thought to myslef,
This is the last thing I need.
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Unfortunately, my obese parrot just died.
It is, however, a huge weight off my shoulders
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On the anniversary of his birth, devotees of a certain yogi asked what gifts they might bring.
The yogi replied, 'I wish for no gifts, only presence."
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When you go to bed you may be American
But when you wake up late for work you’re Russian!
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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