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When you go to bed you may be American
But when you wake up late for work you’re Russian!
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Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?
Because it was full.
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How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
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Son: “Mom, Dad, I’m gay”
Dad: “HI GAY, I’M DAD”
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I don't trust these trees
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