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My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
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Why didn't the picture go to jail?
It was framed.
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I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll.
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I don't trust these trees
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