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Why don’t vampires go to barbecues?
They don’t like steak.
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I’m trying to convince my wife that I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
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I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??"
I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!" Everyone laughed... Well, everyone except this one guy.
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Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth;
It's pasteurized before you even see it.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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