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I’m trying to convince my wife that I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
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What happens to an egg every time you look at it?
It becomes egg sighted
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Every morning I plan on making pancakes,
but I keep waffling.
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A captain harpooned a whale's tail on his first throw.
He said, "Well, that was a fluke."
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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