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I just found out my girlfriend gave me an STD
I’m gonorrhea-valuate our relationship
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Who can drink 5 gallons of gas and not get sick?
Jerry can
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The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, everyone will say,
"Well, she looks good, doesn't she!"
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My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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