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Where do single cats advertise for a date?
The purr-sonal ads.
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My wife left me because I’m too insecure
No wait, she’s back. She just went to make a cup of tea.
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In the battle of the mint - the spearmint attacked the soft mints - all they could yell was..
"Where are the reinforcemints"
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Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, you're an ambulance!
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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