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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband: I was looking for the expiration date.
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A piece of bread attended school.
It did so well it made the honor roll.
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Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, you're an ambulance!
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I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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