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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I taught my daughter what the word bargain meant...
She said, “Thanks dad, that means a great deal.”
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I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
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Me: Honey, I'm terrified of vowels. Wife: Ummm, why?
Me: Only sometimes.
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What do you call your child when they are happy?
A happy little accident.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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