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What does the clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
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My wife asked me, “Are you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?”
I said, “Actually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.”
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I need a new butt
Mine has a crack in it
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Two guys are on a boat with 3 cigarettes and nothing to light them with.
They threw one over board and the boat is now a cigarette lighter.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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