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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife sent me an article that says men's beards have more germs than dogs.
I approve. There are no dogs in my beard.
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What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?
The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
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In the battle of the mint - the spearmint attacked the soft mints - all they could yell was..
"Where are the reinforcemints"
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I don't trust these trees
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