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I always knock when I open the fridge
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
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I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??"
I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!" Everyone laughed... Well, everyone except this one guy.
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What did fridge say when asked 'any hot drinks?'?
'No, I'm cool.'
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A piece of bread attended school.
It did so well it made the honor roll.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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