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What do you say to a woman who has given birth to members of the military?
Thank you for your cervix.
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Can I watch the TV?
Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
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I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated,
so they can get into a good college that we can't afford.
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What did the ocean say to the sailboat?
Nothing, it just waved.
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I don't trust these trees
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