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Doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit.
You get a warm feeling, but no one else notices.
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Two guys are on a boat with 3 cigarettes and nothing to light them with.
They threw one over board and the boat is now a cigarette lighter.
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Why are people talking about Mayweather?
It's August
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Grandpa: Don't come in here honey, I just passed a silent one.
Grandma: You need a new battery for your hearing aid.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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