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My daughter is smarter than Abraham Lincoln. She can recite the Gettysburg Address, and she's only nine years old.
Lincoln didn't say it until he was 50!
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Do you know the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?
A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.
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My friend gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital
Her husband named the kid Carson
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I had been out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home.
That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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