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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Two guys are on a boat with 3 cigarettes and nothing to light them with.
They threw one over board and the boat is now a cigarette lighter.
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A receptionist said to the psychiatrist, "A man is out here who says he is invisible."
The doctor replied, "Tell him I can't see him right now."
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AYE MATEY
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I was on a date with a woman who said "I am a big country fan."
Me trying to sound intelligent: " Well, China is 3.7 million square miles. "
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I don't trust these trees
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