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Why should you never date an apostrophe?
They're too possessive!
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Someone asked if there is a local chess club?
Let me check mate
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I went into a pet shop and told the owner that i want twelve bees
He handed me thirteen and said "last one is a freebie"
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Watched a movie in 1440p for the first time yesterday.
It was my new year's resolution.
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I don't trust these trees
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