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Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
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My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
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How do priests stay fit?
They exorcise
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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they would be bagels
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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