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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
A kiwi in an elevator.
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I shot my first turkey today...
Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.
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What weighs more? A pound of milk or a pound of ricotta cheese?
A pound of milk. The ricotta is whey less.
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What state has the smallest drink?
Minisoda
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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