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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What follows two eyes?
Captain.
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Kid: There's something in my shoe?
Dad: It's your foot.
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“Dad, can you call mom’s phone? She can’t find it.”
“Absolutely! ‘Mom’s phone! Mom’s phone!’”
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Which nail does a carpenter hate to hit?
A thumbnail.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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