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What do Kermit the Frog, John the Baptist and Vlad the Impaler have in common?
Same Middle Name
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Why does seaguls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
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After being holed up in the house due to Covid, my wife has started having this weird nightmare that our house is made of celery.
Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.
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Did you hear about the houses next door to each other that fell in love?
It's a lawn-distance relationship.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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