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After being holed up in the house due to Covid, my wife has started having this weird nightmare that our house is made of celery.
Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.
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My daughter asked "What's a light year?"
I said: "It's a regular year but lower in calories".
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This is going to be the first year our family won't be going to Hawaii because of COVID-19
Usually it's because we can't afford it.
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Why does earth always have mood swings?
Because it's bipolar
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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