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To all the coworkers who have talked about me behind my back:
You discussed me.
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Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Crew: I I Captain.
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My wife just accused me of having zero empathy.
I just don’t understand why she feels that way.
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Why does Waldo from the Where’s Waldo books wear stripes?
Cause he doesn’t wanna be spotted
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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