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There was a fight between 69 and 70.
71
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I have an old calculator that’s missing the minus button.
But on the plus side, it still works.
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My wife came back from the store complaining about how the lady at the register was a total bitch.
I asked her if she was at self check out. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch.
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The waitress came over and saw my leftovers and asked, "do ya wanna box for that?"
I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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