Riddles
Categories
Login
Submit
Type to search for Riddle here.
Jokes
Login
Submit Joke
The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
Wanna hear something breathtaking
Asthma
REVEAL ANSWER
Previous Dates
1
Bro, do you want this pamphlet?
Brochure
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What is it called when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?
Assymmetrical
REVEAL ANSWER
0
How do you make a sausage roll?
Push it down a hill
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Teenager's dad: Have her back by 8:15.
Daughter's boyfriend: The middle of august? Great!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined!
She lost 120 lbs. I gained 20.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My dad threw a cheese shredder at me and he missed
I ran away and he yelled at me: “get back here you ungrateful child”
REVEAL ANSWER
0
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me “the most secretive guy” in the office.
I can’t tell you how much this award means to me.
REVEAL ANSWER
6
What's the difference between a guitar, a fish, and glue?
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What did the coach say to the broken vending machine?
"Give me my quarterback!"
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why are the Avengers so good with tools?
They’re always assembling
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
REVEAL ANSWER
14
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.
But I laugh more.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I know loads of jokes about cash machines.
I just can't think of one atm.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Keep the Earth clean.
It isn't Uranus.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Dad, what's a forklift?
"Food, usually," I replied.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
1 or 2. 1...or 2?
REVEAL ANSWER
1
Why does seaguls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary
I said, “Mark, my words!”
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Toy story 4 used to have a scene where Woody's friends died.
They cut it from the script because it was too much of a buzzkill.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My son turned 27, so he's no longer covered by my health insurance.
In other words, his manufacturer's warranty is up.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend
Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't see the TV
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 40000$ and a hairline
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the tv.
REVEAL ANSWER
2
I heard this guy whispering a lot of Pokemon jokes to his friend...
...but I couldn't catch them all.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
REVEAL ANSWER
0
You can tell the gender of any animal by just throwing a pebble at it.
If SHE attacks you then it's a female or If HE attacks you then it's a male.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
A sketchy guy just came into my shop and bought six smoke machines. So I called the cops.
He must be a part of some extreme mist group.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you do after an Apple turns bad?
You open windows.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Alligators can grow up to 13 feet.
Most, however, only have 4.
REVEAL ANSWER
‹
1
2
...
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
...
80
81
›
Search Jokes
Search
Joke of the Day
Wanna hear something breathtaking
REVEAL ANSWER
Please Login
In order to upvote or downvote you have to login.
Login
Close
0
0
0
0
