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I couldn’t decide on how much lettuce to buy, until my wife helped me think it through.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
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What is yellow and kills you if you get it in the eyes?
A school bus.
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Kid: There's something in my shoe?
Dad: It's your foot.
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Burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night...
Should’ve put it on aloha setting!
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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