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I couldn’t decide on how much lettuce to buy, until my wife helped me think it through.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
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Refusing to go to the gym
counts as resistance training.
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What makes a dad joke a dad joke?
The punchline has to be apparent.
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How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fifty. Three to die trying, one to actually pull it off, and 46 others to say, "Dude, I could do that!"
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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