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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I’ve been caught money laundering.
My brother found $20 in my shorts taking them out of the dryer
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I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team.
But then I learned they don't cross the country and they're back home in just a few hours.
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What do you call a dinosaur from Canada?
A Torontosaurus Rex!
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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