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Doctor: I'm afraid your DNA is backwards, sir.
Me: AND?
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Did you hear about the dumb guy who got fired from his job at the M&M's factory?
He kept throwing away all the candies that had W's on them.
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How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fifty. Three to die trying, one to actually pull it off, and 46 others to say, "Dude, I could do that!"
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What do you call your child when they are happy?
A happy little accident.
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I don't trust these trees
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