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I will never make an elevator joke
I refuse to go that level
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What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
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My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”
“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practising it a lot.”
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Today me and my wife caught our son burning down a house
We held each other's hand and said "that's arson"
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I don't trust these trees
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