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I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery
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I have sex daily
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
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A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?". "For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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