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I told my boss that three companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay at my current job.
"Which companies are after you?" my boss asked. "Gas, electric and cable" I responded.
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My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
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My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.
I said, “Wait! I can change!”
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Did you hear about the human cannonball?
Too bad he got fired!
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I don't trust these trees
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