The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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A Mexican magician said that he could disappear on the count of three. He started "unos, dos.."

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Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

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Me: Honey, I'm terrified of vowels. Wife: Ummm, why?

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Why are Russian cars so terrible?